Why~~

Is "Why" that important to us??

For me,

YES!!!

I am always asking question to myself...

Why am I born to be this way...

Why am I born in a bad environment...

Why am I born in a poor family...

Why can't I have a better life...

Why can't I finish my studies...

Why can't I have a better pay in order to have a better meal...

Why do I have to work...

Why do I have to worried about money...

Why can't I have lots of money to spend...

WHY!!

WHY!!!

WHY!!!!

Everyone knows this word...

Some people like this word...

But,

I hate this word...

Are you asking "WHY"...

This is why...

Question Makes Me Crazy...

Especially

UNSOLVED PROBLEMS...

If a snap would just give us an answer,

I think I would snap till my fingers are all swollen...

In a hundred percent,

10 percents are for my family,

30 percents are for my friends & colleagues,

the rest are for myself...

Once I open my eyes in the morning,

Question will start coming to me...

Even in bath,

in work,

having my meals,

taking a pee,

taking a shower,

doing my facial mask,

cleansing my god damn face...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't I finish this blog...

Why can't I finish typing...

Is it fair to me when the others are having fun and I am thinking all this shit...

Regret???

Am I regret???

Am I regretting???

Am I???

I am asking myself for a week...

But what answers did I get....

I don't know...

Seriously,

I let go almost everything and this is what I get from you...

Do I look foolish to you

or

Do I look like a nerd to you...

 I have my temper and its limited...

Don't try to step on my TAIL....

EVEN MY 1 LITTLE FUR....

I am hoping that there are changes...

If not...

New...

New environment...

New staffs...

New friends...

New life...

Everything is new...

Where are all my 'old things'...

I miss 'you guys' a lot...

The Day~~

Today,

is the day I leave my office...

I don't know whether it's good or bad to leave,

but I still have to fight for my dream...

UNLESS!!!

I am defeated...

Or I will keep on fighting...

Until the end,

I still think that it is still my best office...

They gave me so much chance to prove myself...

I really appreciate...

Now I am "out of the box"...

Going to "jump in" into another "box"...

FIGHTING!!!

I know I can do this...

My colleagues treat me for lunch...

In gurney, we ate Chicago...

It taste really really good...

THANK YOU~^^

Love you guys...^^

Thursday will be a new day...

Fighting for another LIFE~~

Time~

Time is coming,

5 more days,

I will be leaving.

I really do have a great time with you guys.

But things got to change,

got to be the way it is...

Thank you for the Farewell...

I really appreciate it...

I will really miss you guys...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XIAH JUNSU IS GOING TO SINGAPORE TO PROMOTE HIS NEW SOLO ALBUM

<< TARANTALLEGRA >>

BY MAKING A SHOWCASE....

I WANNA GO!!!!!!!!!

Sigh~~~

But I think I won't be able to attend his showcase...

Beacuse of time~

Because of money~

Time and money is always a matter to everyone...

But I still wish I could attend Xiah Junsu's showcase.

I think it is held on July...

Oh God, will you help me???

Please~~~~

But if I really can't attend,

then the only way to show Xiah Junsu that I really really like/love him and really really support him is to buy his new solo album...

*NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT COST...

I WILL STILL BUY IT...*

Things around me are changing alot..

Even myself...

Sometimes I start to feel that I'm doing something that I don't really like...

Sometimes I start to feel that things that should be mine, will never be mine...

Sometimes I start to feel like I am NOT who I am...

Should I be working without dancing,

OR

Should I be working with dancing???

Should I continue designing without hope,

OR

Should I continue designing with hope???

Should I still continue dreaming of flying to Korea,

OR

Should I start my saving in order to fly to Korea?

Sometimes I really feel empty...

Frustrated!!! & Appreciate....

I JUST HATE THE WAY IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY AM I WORKING IT THAT KIND OF PLACE?!!!!

WORKING ALL DAY AND ALL I GET IS "YOUR" COMPLAINT?!!!

WHO AND WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM!!!

YOU THINK THAT I WANNA WORK IN THAT GODDAMN PLACE?!

I AM VERY SICK AND TIRED OF IT!!!!!

WASTING MONEY ON ME?!!!!

I'LL SHOW YOU THAT YOU ARE 100% WRONG!!!!

AND YOU WIL 100% REGRET IT!!!

Now I do know "how" to appreciate the chances that are given by people...

I think GOD still loves me,

cares for me...

I understand that chances are actually given by GOD,

and not from human beings,

but I still wanna thank you...

Thank You...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH...

Confused~~~

It's been a while...

I've come through a lot...

So many things to do, so little...

People use to said that:

"Appreciate what you got now, and make use of it."

I don't agree with it...

IF you doesn't like the things you'r doing now,

HOW CAN YOU APPRECIATE IT???!!!

People always think positive,

but it makes the other person thinks negative...

All I wanna say is that,

think what you want to do,

instead of thinking of a "way" to "APRECIATE" it...

I have to say it to myself...

I'm really confused...

SHOULD I or SHOULDN'T I....

Sick~~~

I've open this account for a long time,

but I don't even have the time to edit it...

I've got to 'find' some time to edit my blog...

TOOOOOO BUSY....

So,

this is my first post^^

I just HATE this feeling~~~

SICK~~~

so sick~~~

Today is the WORST day in my life...

 This morning,

I bought this so called "very nice NASI LEMAK",

(but it really taste good..........i mean.......before that...)

And I forget about the food (Lor Mee) that my colleague have bought for us...

I went into my office and I heard them talking about the food...

And I was like 'Oh shit, I forgot'...

haha...

So i ate my 'Lor Mee' and it taste goooooood~~~

but it taste a little weird at the same time...

And of course,

I did not ate my nasi lemak...

Until lunch,

we went out for lunch and i thought of having a drink instead of taking my lunch...

'Course I still have my nasi lemak waiting for me to eat...

So Ii just accompanied them to lunch...

Then we went back to our office,

but I'm still a bit full, (because of the 'Lor Mee')

So i leave it for a while...

Till 4 am...

I started to feel hungry...

So I ate my nasi lemak...

It still taste good but not like the one I took years ago...

Alright...

I'll just 'jump' to the main part...

After eating my nasi lemak..

I start to feel sick...

First, stomach ache....

Second, dizzy...

Third, diarrhea,

And the last, which I HATE THE MOST, vomit...

WOW~~~

It feels terrible...

And after seeing the doctor...

guess what....

I've got food poisoning...

Until now, I'm still feeling sick...

So, I am going to sleep now...

Good Night...

AND I SWEAR THAT I WILL NEVER EAT THAT NASI LEMAK EVER AGAIN!!!